Ladies & Gentlemen

Inspired by a regular feature in All Out Cricket magazine, every Friday (and sometimes Saturday!) we give you the opportunity to look inside the mind of a Maldon CC member via our 20 Questions. This week it's the turn of Statitician Supreme

Ladies & Gentlemen....................Stuart Coker

1 Describe yourself in one word.

Statto

2 What word or phrase do you most overuse?

OK, when something has gone wrong and needs to be sorted.

3 What is your idea of happiness?

Sitting on a grass bank, watching a game of cricket with a pint of lager shandy.

4 What is your biggest pet hate?

Pleases or thank you.

5 Which living person do you most admire and why?

Any doctor or nurse working at A&E at Saturday or Sunday morning at 3am.

6 What would be your fancy dress costume of choice?

Bill Gates lookalike

7 If you were an animal, what would you be?

Elephant - never forgets anything.

8 What is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen?

The sunset over Heybridge Basin in mid-summer.

9 Which 3 people would you invite to your dream dinner party?

My friends from University who I don't see enough as we are all ancient!

10 Whose windows would you most like to smash?

Sebastian Vettel for his victory salute.

11 Who would you like to play you in a film of your life?

Jim Parsons

12 What song would you have playing when walking out to bat?

Foo Fighters - Pretenders

13 If you could be one other cricketer for a day, who would you be?

Jacques Kallis - Could bat, bowl and catch pigeons in the slips.

14 What is the first record you bought?

I think it was Roald Dahl - Fantastic Mr Fox

15 Who is your favourite comedian?

John Richardson

16 What one piece of advice would you give to an U9 colt?

Try to enjoy every single day. Make friends not enemies as the friendships you make, make your life better. I have spent many evenings in the pub discussing old games such as when Ross Walpole asked whether he could have calpol and play cricket or Muzza telling us to take all our catches today and grass the first ball of the game.

17 What is your favourite cricket tea item?

Quiche Lorraine and homemade chocolate cake.

18 Who is the biggest moaner you have ever played cricket with?

Craig Gozzett - once refused to stop the ball keeping as it was too wet and also moaned about the custard in cricket week having lumps in it.

19 Where would you most like to watch a test match?

Bridgetown, Barbados.

20 What is your greatest ever performance on a cricket pitch?

0* blocking the last two balls to win the Cup Final against Mersea.

Next week it's the turn of rising star.....Joe Bird